Cyber Safety: Keeping your Children Safe in their Online Communications
I.
Assess: Find out how your children spend their time
online.
A. Do they have a Facebook page, a MySpace page, another social networking site page?
B. Do they have a blog or post on other people’s blogs? Which blogs do they visit frequently? What are they about?
C. Do your children spend time in chat rooms?
D. Do they do a lot of IMing (instant messaging via e-mail)?
E. Who are they talking to online?
F. Who has access to their accounts and posts?
G. How are your children being treated?
H. How are they portraying themselves?
I. What do they disclose about themselves?
II.
Discuss: Talk with your children the potential dangers
of online communication.
A. Online bullying:
· Because of the seeming anonymity of online relationships, people tend to say things online that they wouldn’t in person. They may say mean things about your child that your child takes to heart.
· People may post something negative about your child on a public site for the purpose of spreading rumors.
· People can take text that your child has written in a private post and post it publicly, causing your child embarrassment or danger.
· Bullying at school can carry over to bullying online and vice versa.
B. Online predators:
· A fifty-year-old man can pose as a fifteen-year-old girl.
· Dangerous people can gain the trust of your child and ask for them to disclose personal information or ask to meet them in person.
· People can “eavesdrop” on their conversations in chat rooms or hack into their social networking pages and look for information about where your child will be at a particular time.
C. Internet fraud:
· People/companies can “phish” for personal information (e.g. credit card numbers, personal identification numbers, and social security numbers) in order to steal yours or your child’s identity.
D. Inappropriate advertising:
· Social networking sites, such as MySpace, make their money off of advertisements, many of which are sexual in nature, and some of which could be linked to sites you would not want your children to visit.
E. Miscommunication and misinterpretation:
· Online communication lacks body language, volume, tenor, and facial expressions. Remind your children that their words can sometimes be taken the wrong way. Encourage them to write clearly and read their messages for possible misinterpretation before they send them. Encourage them to ask for clarification from others when they think they could have misinterpreted what someone else has written.
III.
Act: Take steps to keep your children safe.
A. Discuss with your children what types of information are safe to publish online and which are not. Tell them not to disclose personal information such as their full name, birth date, address, social security number, school, or where they will be at a certain time. Have your child remove any information that should not be public.
B. Discuss with your children the importance of being careful who they meet online. Talk about the dangers (mentioned above).
C. Read with your children the online safety information for their social networks. Have your children adjust their privacy settings to allow only trusted people to have access to their pages. Visit ikeepsafe.org for more information on cyber safety.
D. Keep the computer that your children use out in the open so that you can see what they are doing online.
E. When your child confides in you about bullying or another online problem, stay calm. Some kids don’t tell their parents about their online problems because they’re afraid they’ll lose their Internet privileges. Try to keep the lines of communication open.
F. Have your child delete “friends” who are abusive. If there are serious or persistent problems, consider having your child cancel his or her account.
G. Consider installing monitoring software. Accountability software is recommended.
H. Consider joining a parent support group, e.g. wiredsafety.net or blogsafety.com.
I. Make sure your children know that online threatening, bullying, or harassment are illegal. Online texts can be printed out and used as evidence in a court of law.
J. Online disagreements can get heated very quickly. Talk with your children about how to manage anger and conflict. Discourage them to take part in “flaming wars” and discuss better options.
K. Try to foster your children’s empathy for others. Consider doing service projects with them to help them look outside themselves to the needs and understanding of others. This will help build the character they need to have healthy, constructive online relationships.